Friday Humor: LFG

This post was originally going to be entitled "You know you play too much EQII when..." But I got as far as, "You know you play too much EQII when you go to a museum and marvel at all the cool 'concept art,'" when I realized the whole thing had to have been done before. Sure enough I found this link for EQ and this link for EQII. There are some great ones there so check them out and enjoy. While I'm linking humor I'll also send you to the hilarious Bannable Offenses blog (as recommended by Quylein in this thread). It's basically the ongoing tale of a GM with a bad attitude and I found it very funny.

So, since my original idea was taken, I figured I'd make fun of some of the stuff I recently suggested. What if a new LFG or LFM feature was implemented that allowed comments in the LFG window? But what if all the comments were 100% completely truthful? I think it would look something like this (note that I've done most of these things myself to some degree at one time or another):

Defiler LFG: I will force you all to do my grayed out armor quests and pitch a fit when you kill any mob I don't need.

Cleric LFG: I'll cast a few reactives and then leave (without saying anything) to go talk on the phone and cook dinner. Keep the xp coming!

Wizard LFG: I'll not only get aggro, I'll keep nuking when I do get it! And when I do I'll run around in chaotic patterns just to keep things fun.

Templar LFG: All my nukes are Adept III or better! Wait till you see my dps...

Guardian LFG: Ten minute wait between pulls. I want everyone to be really really ready. But I never let you know when the mobs actually incoming.

Bruiser LFG: Let's go deep into a dungeon zone together - I'll tank! Warning: I tend to go linkdead whenever there are more than 2 mobs in the area.

Fury LFG: Feathers? We won't need 'em.

Conjuror LFG: I roll on everything. And I mean everything. Need before greed? Is that the name of a new hip-hop group? Never heard of it. Hey, I have 7 alts so pretty much anything that drops I need anyway.

Coercer LFG: Why should scouts get all the fun of opening chests? I can open them too - in the middle of combat.

Assassin LFG: /assist is for noobs.

Bezerker LFG: When I pull a mob I'm not moving. You all can come to me. What are you lazy or something?

Monk LFG: Healers OOP? Healers don't need mana with me tanking...

Paladin LFG: I like to go off and "explore" on my own and often meet some "friends" along the way. It's an adventure right?

Dirge LFG: As soon as you invite me to group I'll ask everyone for T7 food and drink which I happened to forget. Once I get it I'll go LD.

Brigand LFG: I'm down to group for as long as you want. Until I ding that is. P.S. I'm 99% to level.

Warlock LFG: I will be extremely rude to everyone in the group. But when I'm called out on it I'll just say I'm "roleplaying."

Group LFM: We brake for shinies. Even when we're in group stealth.

Group LFM: We're all in Teamspeak so we'll never say anything in chat. We won't invite you to our TS server but the surprise of everything we do will be fun for you!

Group LFM: Hot wood elves only.

Group LFM: PVP group. We will out of group AOE anytime a carnage flagged high level enemy is around. All carnage cooties all the time! Join us!

Group LFM: We all played together on the same EQ server and will fill chat with constant in-jokes and allusions to players you never heard of.

Group LFM: Once we get over twenty percent XP debt we know it's time to start taking on harder stuff!

Group LFM: We all play like we have the Brew Day alcohol effect on. Forever.

Group LFM: Raid group. The rest of us are all on a DKP system so you're not allowed to roll for anything. But you can participate in the constant wipes!

Wizard LFG: I'm going to blog about this tomorrow.