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Thursday, December 07, 2006

Hasten Bootstrutter's True Travels in Norrath: Part I

Hail adventurer! Allow me to introduce myself. Hasten Bootstrutter is the name, and traveling is my game.

You may know me from one of my delightful “field guides.” I’ve written one for almost every locale in Norrath, guiding you, my faithful reader, to points of interest and adventure! But my publisher tells me that today’s generation of adventurer prefers a travel account that’s a little more personal. Well, I aim to please. I've decided it would be fitting to start my latest journey from the place all journeys begin…home.

Qeynos - Baubleshire

13th Day of Deepice

Ah, home. They say it’s where the heart is and who am I to argue? Sure, my journeys are wonderful – filled with constant excitement, adventure and intrigue. But there’s nothing like returning back to hearth, home and the wife who loves you. I knocked on the door and I admit I was a little taken aback by how much my dear wife had aged. But, well, she’s a sweet woman and I do care for her. I’ve even been faithful to her all these years. Mostly.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

“Haha. Good one, good one.” I gave my best impish grin and a wink.

“Get out, whoever you are,” she replied pushing the door closed.

“It’s me, Hasten!” I shouted. She looked hard for a second and then put her face into her hands.
“Brell Serilis preserve us,” she muttered.

I started forward but she put her hand up.

“Listen, Hasten, I had you declared legally dead a long time ago. I’m married.”

“Of course, you’re married,” I laughed. “You’re married to that famed rogue of a traveling gnome – Hasten Bootstrutter!”

“Um, no. To someone else.”

“There must be a mistake-“

“It’s been fourteen years, you moron.”

“Did you at least wait a decade?”

“If a decade is three weeks then sure. Now get away before I call the guards.”

I need a drink. Or shall I say drinks.

Qeynos Harbor

14th Day of Deepice

I can’t remember much of what happened here. I was trying to celebrate Brew Day but everyone kept telling me that it wasn’t for months and to stop annoying them. I started fighting with everyone I could find to defend the honor of Brew Day. Well, except for that Nathan Ironforge kid. He kind of gave me this cold, evil look and, well, I just got freaked out.

Eventually the guards tossed me out of the city, none too gently I might add.


15th Day of Deepice

I finished the last of my “Brew Day gifts” today, right about the same time some highwaymen stole my J-Boots. I screamed at them for three hours about how I invented J-Boots and then passed out in a river. When I woke up a Coldwind King Crab was pinching my neck. I could barely walk without my boots. To make matters worse that idiot Hwal Rucksif came strutting by and started laughing, “Where’s your fancy J-Boots now?” Then he pointed to his stupid Dwarven Work Boots and said, “These boots are made for walking!” I hate that guy. My feet are cold.

Thundering Steppes

2nd Day of Grayeven

Does anyone have a key to this gate? Sigh. It’s going to be a long night.

Stay tuned for Part II in a few days...


Anonymous jsquirrel said...

Cool. Brings back memories. =)

3:19 PM  

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