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Friday, July 29, 2005

Friday Humor: Team Fashion!

With all the discussion lately of the SOGA and current character models in EQII, I thought I would bring in two of the finest imaginary names in the fashion industry: Hairstylist Hubert Devine and Supermodel Amber Whootain. I asked them to give their comments on the current EQII models. Lest anyone think I played around with the character creator for the sake of finding funnier models, I give you my word that I just booted up the new character screen and grabbed some screenshots.

Erudite

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Hubert: Yikes, girlfriend needs to conjure up some moisturizer!
Amber: ET, phone home!

Halfling

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Hubert: Uh, oh. Someone's been drinking too much JumJum and loading up on Voleen's Sweetbreads. That belly is begging for the South Beach Diet.
Amber: Um, can we get a pedicure SWAT team in here?
Hubert: Speaking of hair, putting a bowl over your head is not a valid haircut method.

High Elf

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Amber: Yikes, is he a unicorn or an elf?
Hubert: Hmm...maybe it's a defense mechanism. He pokes peoples' eyes out with that horn.
Amber: Yeah, and if that doesn't work he stabs them with his ears.


Ogre

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Hubert: This is a modern ogre. She's saying, yeah, I killed four children and drank their blood, but I still have time to pick out a pink shirt that matches my eyes.
Amber: Hmm, yeah. But does that hair make her more aerodynamic?


Wood Elf

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Hubert: We have a technical term for this in the business: "Too much going on." The Batwing tattoos, the buttercups, the hoop hair...I'm just lost.
Amber: Mmm, her hair looks like delicious taffy though. If I ever ate, which I don't, I would eat her hair.
Hubert: You need a snack.

Human

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Hubert: And here we have the Zombie race. Wait a minute...that's a human? Yikes!
Amber: Way to embarrass the human race, girlfriend!

Half Elf

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Hubert: Oh, my! I've heard of frosted tips but this is ridiculous!
Amber: It's like he fell into a sno-cone machine.


Gnome

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Amber: I guess she's going for a Trinity from the Matrix look.
Hubert: Neo, Neo, I love you! You're the chosen one!


Dwarf

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Amber: Umm, someone has a little facial hair problem.
Hubert: Case of Nair, stat!
Amber: Are those tattoos or did she fall into a bucket of ash?


Barbarian

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Hubert: Wow, just wow. Do you think that flower is big enough?
Amber: It has to be. It's balancing out the weight of whatever is going on with her hair on the other side of her head.
Hubert: No wonder she looks like she's going to cry.
If someone pulls out that flower her head will be permanently tilted to one side.

Dark Elf

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Hubert: It's like, okay, dude, we get that you're evil. We don't need the Snidely Whiplash moustache. It's just overkill.
Amber: Yeah, I see him tying some girl to the train tracks and standing there laughing and twirling that 'stache.
Hubert: Another person who thinks weaponry is a good hair accessory choice.


Troll

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Hubert: Finally! Someone who gets it! You're perfect sweetie, wouldn't change a thing!
Amber: Does she have representation? My agent and her need to talk!


Well, thanks to Hubert and Amber for joining us today! If you enjoyed this, perhaps I'll have them take on the Soga Models and the clothing styles of EQII sometime in the future. Till then - stay fashionable EQII!

8 Comments:

Blogger supernoob said...

Aggro, you need serious mental help. LOL. Loved the weapons as hair accessories motif.

11:26 AM  
Blogger warm_machine said...

Next up,
"Fashion Guards" only on E(Q)!

Good stuff aggro, I'm looking forward to Hubert & Amber next review! =P

3:22 PM  
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3:49 AM  
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