Friday Humor: New Year's Resolutions

Ah, yes, what's better on New Year's Eve than champagne, overcrowded clubs and public vomiting? Why, resolutions of course. That's why I sent psychic messages out to some Aggro Me favorites to find out what their New Year's resolutions for the upcoming year are! Here are the brainwave missives I received in return:

Antonia & Lucan: We resolve to actually spend some time with our subjects when they are not trying to kill us.

Vandis: I resolve to ask for help more often.

Brad McQuaid: Resolutions? Perhaps, you haven't heard about my hardcore new resolution system for truly hardcore players. Sure, it might be easy to just make a resolution. But first you will have to travel to the New Year's Resolution area in Qualia. You can only travel on foot so it will take you roughly 4 to 6 days real time. Then you have to camp the Resolution Master who pops once a week. Upon making your resolution you will be presented with 17 possible counter resolutions, each of which will start a resolution chain that can be broken with the patented resolution chain breaker icon and (78 page document follows).

Smed: My resolution? Three words: Additional Revenue Streams.

Blizzard: Our subscription numbers are so low that we resolve to work harder and try to get a few people playing our game! Also, we'll be at work on our first expansion due out sometime around 2010.

Turbine: Just give us 5 or 6 more great licenses and we resolve not to screw them up! Promise!

Maj'Dul Society for the Public Good: Our resolution this year is to do something about those beggars who pester the brave adventurers and tourists who are the key to our economic growth. And we have found affordable housing for them all! Yes, there's a large space in our very city that's always empty: the Arena!

SWG Team: We resolve not to be so afraid of change! We have been dying to make a few minor tweaks to this game since launch but have been too afraid of the reaction.

Random Tradeskill Botter: ...This player is AFK...

Ceciliantas: I resolve to always carefully check the inn room for visitors before, er, "putting on my wizard robe and hat."

Random Uber Player Standing on the Docks in QH: I resolve to get that one fabled piece I need to complete my total uber look.

Norrathian Pet Care Society: We resolve not to feed our house pets too much pepper.

Aggro Me: I feel like I haven't been getting enough aggro lately. Time for a little overnuking in '06.

Bonus Humor:

Coyote takes on Freeport politics.

Kotaku links to a WoW parody of the Apple Switch commercials.

Former Mourning Dev Interview Quote of the Week:

"And it's really funny that he was making fun of Blizzard 2 years ago, "look, they have the game in development for three years and it's still not ready, our game will be ready in 2 years and it will be much better". Isn't life ironic?"

It sure is. Have a safe and fun New Year's Eve. I'll be back on Tuesday.