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Friday, August 26, 2005

Friday Humor: Rejected Expansion Features

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Sure, there are a lot of great features headed our way with the Desert of Flames expansion. But what about those features that didn't make it in? Through intrepid reporting and the use of a highly skilled team of brigands and assassins, Aggro Me has gotten ahold of a top-secret rejected feature list from a high-security SOE vault. I've listed the ideas here along with the comments by the SOE brass.

Heritage Quest for Antonia: Players must complete an extremely difficult series of quests. Upon completion, they are granted an actual date with new Antonia model, Anna Wainscoat. Note: Anna's agent says she is NOT doing this. Nice try guys.

Mogloks: Let's tell players there is a new race in the Expansion called the Mogloks, waiting to be unlocked and that all they need to do is finish some quest. Eventually we'll finish the art, character design and animation for this race and then announce it. Note: Umm, this didn't work so well last time. Pass.

Make Nerf Positive: So many people complain about nerfing. Let's put a positive spin on it by creating uber nerf weapons, like a Nerf Sword and a Nerf Dagger. Note: Talked to Hasbro and they won't pay us enough money to use the Nerf brand in-game. Good idea though.

Smed Giants: People always like Sand Giants so let's build on that. How about a race of Sand Giants with Smed's face called Smed Giants? Note: No. Also, you're fired.

Cybersex Voice Emotes: We already have voice emotes in the expansion so let's take it a step further with some cybersex voice emotes. Hey, even better, we can hide them and have them unlocked by a "mod" which we can have people discover. It worked for Rockstar! Note: Brilliant. Too good to use for this expansion - saving it for the next one. Also, you're promoted.

Magical Giant Whale Dragon of Doom Mount: We've seen that people will pay darn near anything for the status of a mount. How about a really really expensive mount that looks like a whale but also like a dragon and it's gigantic. Er, and it's magical. And, um, DOOM. It actually lowers movement speed but it causes massive lag and will crash any zone in minutes. Players will do anything to get it. Note: Genius, but forget the players, I want it for myself.

Potion of Uber: Why not let low level characters feel uber for a bit? By drinking the Potion of Uber they suddenly appear to be level 60 with all fabled gear to any character that inspects them. Of course, this is only an illusion. Note: Nah, no one would bother to play any more - they would just buy the Potions of Uber and stand around Qeynos Harbour.

Hmm...wish some of those made it in game. Maybe next time. Here's two links for you as a parting gift:

Okay, this one has been around for quite a while, but in case you haven't seen it: What happens when Everquest meets Denny's? Find out

Want a more recent link? Well then what happens when an EQII character encounters that most dangerous of zones, the Blog? Ferrik finds out


Anonymous Wargut said...

Good Friday Humor!

The Mogloks one was hilarious.
Cybersex emotes? I know too many people who would never leave their inn room with those haha.

7:19 AM  
Blogger Anskiere said...

"Note: Nah, no one would bother to play any more - they would just buy the Potions of Uber and stand around Qeynos Harbour."

SOooo true.

I bet Ceciliantas would be happy with your new emote ideas :D :D

And I forgot all about that denny's thing, rofl. The first time I read that I think I died laughing. Then someone rez'd me. Too bad it's only -really- funny if you are familiar with EQ1, though.

8:28 AM  
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