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Friday, June 16, 2006

Friday Humor: Marketing Genius

Via Broken Toys comes a link to this gem of an old EQ marketing concept:

I was going to list some of my favorite parts from the video but it's just too hilarious to pick favorites. It's disheartening to know that I could never write humor as funny as the SOE reality. But I have to try so....

Other Brilliant Viral Marketing Concepts for SOE

A video with two cool dudes carrying snowboards. They look really extreme with their parkas and energy drinks. They begin to talk:

Dude 1: Wow, that was extreme the way you jumped out of that plane and then snowboarded off of a cliff while drinking a 40 ounce!

Dude 2: Yeah, but the way you snowboarded over that shark while beating yourself in the head with a hammer was double-extreme! To the max!

Dude 1: You know what else is extreme?

Dude2: What?

Dude 1: Everquest!

Dude 2: Wow, what an extreme title!

Dude 1: Oh yeah, you can do all kinds of radical stuff in Everquest. Like jumping off cliffs, kicking dragons in the face and making pasta!

Dude 2: Wow, are you serious?

Dude 1: Serious to the max! They have these things called Guilds which are like gangs of people who like to do extreme stuff together.

Dude 2: I want to join!

Dude 1: Yeah, and there are all these hot chicks who play. There's a lot of hot chicks.

Dude 2: Really?

Dude 1: Yeah, but you don't know who they are!

Dude 2: Awesome! I can't wait to play Everquest!

Dude 1: You know it! High-Five!


Two stoners are sitting in a room with black-light posters and lava lamps. They begin to talk:

Stoner 1: You know what would be cool right now?

Stoner 2: Cooking up some Bagel Bites?

Stoner 1: Yeah that too. But fighting angry mushrooms would be cool.

Stoner 2: Wow. Bagel Bites. Wow. Too bad we can't do that.

Stoner 1: But we can. If we play Everquest!

Stoner 2: Everquest? That's deep, man.

Stoner 1: Yeah. Everquest is this game where you're totally connected to people from, um, all over the universe playing together in unity and togetherness.

Stoner 2: Wow, so you can be, like, at one with the planet!

Stoner 2: Oh yeah, and you can see these crazy elves and rats that talk and people with wings and all kinds of crazy stuff. And when you use certain items in game the screen gets all crazy and you can't see straight.

Stoner 2: Trippy!

Stoner 2: Totally.

Stoner 2: What if I just feel like chilling?

Stoner 1: Oh, you can just chill out in your inn room with weird artwork and your crazy monkeys and lizards and what not. You can even build your own sofa to chill on.

Stoner 2: Wow. Bagel Bites. Wow.

Two businessmen are sitting in an airport drinking mocha frappucinos. They begin to talk:

Business Guy 1: Way to close a deal! We just made ourselves a cool billion today, my friend.

Business Guy 2: What can I say? I'm a closer.

Business Guy 1: How did you become so skilled in the art of the deal? Was it from the Wharton Business School? Reading Dale Carnegie's books? Watching the Apprentice?

Business Guy 2: Not at all. It was all from Everquest, my friend.

Business Guy 1: Everquest? Is that a new brand of Italian suit?

Business Guy 2: No, it's a game about making money that you play against people from all over the world. In Everquest, you can monopolize markets, employ cheap labor and scam people out of money and items!

Business Guy 1: Amazing! Sounds like my internship at Enron. Only better!

Business Guy 2: Yeah, and they have these things called Guilds which are kind of like corporations. You can rise to the CEO or whatever and then you can rob the whole Guild of every dime they have. Then you rock some fabled suit of armor which is kind of like an Armani suit and you get an armored horse which is kind of like a Mercedes. And then you look down on the lesser people.

Business Guy 1: You are the man!

Business Guy 2: Tell me about it.


Blogger Karnatos said...

Man - the whole time I was watching this video I was asking myself "Who thought this was a good idea? Who?" - heheheheh. Definitely a good laugh, I dunno about you... but I have the distinct feeling that these 2 gals had NO idea what EQ even is, beyond what they were told to say.

... and aparently famous people play? Holy crap, for real?! Heheheheh, golden stuff man - its a good find.

11:11 AM  
Anonymous Wizzel Cogcarrier Wizzleton IV said...

Come to the Dark Side, Aggro... WordPress awaits.

And my word verification for this comment is a naughty word.

12:32 PM  
Blogger warm_machine said...

OMFG that was bad! Were they strippers?? I swear I saw a pole in the background!

I hope whoever thought-up that idea, and whoever gave the OK to whatever budget was involved has since been fired or severely reprimanded!

7:54 PM  
Anonymous Wizzel Cogcarrier Wizzleton IV said...

42 minutes late on the Monday post. Chop-chop.

1:46 AM  
Anonymous Blackguard said...

I'm naughty for posting this EQOA Commercial

9:15 PM  
Blogger GregT said...

Wow, I totally want to play Everquest now. I think you just sold me on it.

8:15 AM  
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I think that was my sister....

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