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Friday, May 20, 2005

Friday Humor: Quest for a Laugh

Well, I've been too busy reading E3 news this week to dig up any real humor, so you're going to have to make do with something unintentionally funny.

Our target -
The Quest for Antonia.

Yes, I'm aware I've
covered this before. But, ah, now the official site, much like a Death Star, is fully operational!

First off, what exactly is our noble Queen doing with the absurd hand gestures in the repeating video
on the main page? Swatting a fly, having a seizure, or tripping out on "moonflowers?"

But what I really want to focus on are the contestants. Or rather, the wondrous things they have to say about becoming the Queen of Qey. You can
click here to view the finalists but you have to sign in with a Station ID to vote, see the larger pictures and read why they want to be the real life version of Antonia.

So, let's take a gander at the gems coming from the mouths of Smed's stable of lovelies (remember none of the spelling/grammar mistakes are mine - I'm quoting):

This
demure girl informs us "I was Playmate of the Year 2004..." Well, I hear Queen Antonia also had a history of porn in her college days so this is a good match.

This
heroine says, "Beacuse what women would not want to become a Heroine. you always see men being the heros in this workd today, why not be a real life heroine and show the worls that women are just as powerful as any hero can be." Yes, and women can use spellcheck just like men I hear.

This
woman (who also quotes Bob Dylan) relates that, "I want to be the manifestation of Antonia, because she is the persona of me. " Ah, I see. Wait, no I don't.

This
multi-talented lady tells us, "I think I have the sex appeal and class to pull it off. I not only model, but act, so I believe I could take on the persona of the character. " Wow, what can't she do? Oh yeah, the class thing. Guessing that was a bit of a stretch...

This
modest woman humbly informs us that "We both have exquisite beauty..." Don't be so insecure!

This
contestant lets us know that, "I believe that i have good bone structure on my face as Antonia."

This
woman gives us a version of the ever-popular world peace answer, "I truly love traveling to other countries to do humanitarian work (I will be in Kyrgyzstan in July She has a natural gift to inspire her people..." Say hello to this contestant if you're in Kyrgyzstan in July!

This
talkative lady says, "I'm going to Massage Therapy school next quarter, I'm not a stripper, I don't do drugs, I'm not married and I don't have children." Uh, congratulations?

"Blade" fills us in, "I had never herd about this exciting competition up until today! One my friend sent me the link and said this is so you!! And it actually really flls like it's a pretty good match!! ;) My name is Anna, but alot of people call me "Blade" from being one of the Swedish gladiators in the TV-show with the same name!" A lot of people call me "Blade" as well but that's because I'm half-vampire.

I hope
this woman is being funny: "Thank you for your time and consideration and oh i also want world peace .=) " I hope.

This contestant says, "I would like to be Antonia so i can know what it might feel to have super powers." Umm, I don't think you actually get super powers if you win.

Right now the playmate is winning, which is just sad. Seriously.

There are a few contestants who claim to actually play EQII. I gave the ones I believed a few extra points in the voting.


Visit the site yourself and let me know what you think.

4 Comments:

Blogger Neil said...

The model they had at E3 had a belly bigger than mine :(

1:49 AM  
Anonymous Ymer said...

Yeah, neil - do you have point to make? :-P

8:35 AM  
Anonymous sneakyB said...

Those guys get my vote http://www.antiboothbabes.com/

3:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hilarious.

I think Smed is using the quest for antonia as an excuse so he can talk with a woman that weighs less than him without having to give his credit card number every time he dials and going for the yearly rate instead.

-Krones

2:36 PM  

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