Massively Multiplayer Mouse

Have you been waiting for an MMO that’s more hardcore than any of the others? One that promises sex and violence at every turn? Well, have I got the game for you.

Yes, take a terrifying journey into the seediest of worlds where perversion is everywhere and death is commonplace. That's right - Disney's Virtual Magic Kingdom.

I've been playing this game in brief spurts for the last few days. I actually figured Disney would do a decent job. But this game is so horrible Walt Disney is probably shuddering in his cryogenic burial capsule located deep within the bowels of Main Street USA.

The first thing that stands out is that communication is the biggest challenge in this game. I found everything I typed being bounced by the word filter and I wasn't even saying anything improper. Heck, even the word "filter" was filtered. So were words like, "gameplay," "steak," and "woman."

I was honestly confused until I questioned a GM - I'm sorry I mean "cast member." She informed me that they are actually "whitelisting" as opposed to "blacklisting" words. What that means is that instead of having a list of forbidden words they have a list of allowable words and all other words are forbidden. I completely understand why they are doing this (it's a game for children after all) but it will make forming a sentence very difficult until they add more words. Also if kids misspell words they will be filtered. Hmm...maybe this is a valid educational tool to counteract the l33tspeak movement.

Anyway, what really bothers me is the awful gameplay. Most zones are bugged. The only actual minigame I was able to play was the dull Safari game in Adventureland. And I was unable to access the rewards I earned from that. You are also told to look for hidden Mickey ears as you travel the gameworld and photograph them. The problem is, several of the ones I found are impossible to photograph due to their placement near the edge of the screen and the thickness of the camera window frame. Okay, I know it's only in beta but even for a beta the quality is low. There's just nothing to do.

The good news? It's free. And it's probably still better than Mourning.

Because I like to be fair, I'll log on again in a few weeks and see if things are improved. If so, I'll update.

While we’re on the Disney topic, have you ever wondered what the people who dress up as Mickey, Goofy or Minnie are like when the costumes come off? Well, according to this article they like to get high and hook up. And sometimes that's while they're still in costume. You can check out this underground video of Disney employees doing rather un-Disney-like things. (via Gridskipper)