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Friday, January 13, 2006

Friday Humor: Bum Rap

A few weeks ago I came across this WoW rap song entitled "For the Horde" via AFK Gamer. I was actually pretty impressed. It was rather smooth and enjoyable for a rap song about an online roleplaying game.

Of course, I couldn't leave well enough alone. Always competitive with the WoW crowd, I decided to try for an EQII version. It probably wasn't a good idea. This is one post I probably would have scrapped, but I was busy this week with raiding and work (in that order) so you're stuck with it. I think it picks up a little in the second half. I honestly don't own a microphone, though I doubt I would have attempted to rap it anyway. If anyone wants to try, I'll host the sound file. I apologize to the entire genre of hip-hop, which I respect, for this fiasco.

The Wrath of Norrath: B-Nice's Ballad

Yeah, I’m B-Nice the one they’re talking about,
Mobs try to step up and they get served out.
Root a toot toot I got all the rootage
Drop in the Sunstrike and it’s time for the lootage.
Protoflame, ha, that thing is a joke
I lay on the Comet and wait for the smoke
To clear – when it does nothing’s left,
Time to head for the Roost up high on the Cleft.
Cruising on my carpet, bought not quested,
If you group with me you’re gonna get tested.
Think you’re better then me, ha better yield,
Better keep training cause Training is a Shield.
Can you hold aggro? Really I doubt it.
I run a DPS parser and I make sure to shout it
Loud and clear ‘cause I’m always number one
B-Nice brings the nukage like Cruise in Top Gun.
See a beggar in Maj and I toss ‘em a Plat,
It’s nothing to me, my coin pouch is fat.
Ring of Fate? Ha, please I got seven.
And I have more levels than the stairway to heaven.
I told ya already, are ya hard of hearing?
I relax underwater with my fishbone earring.
I'm down with the gnolls 'cause I earned their trust.
You need some new gear - that stuff is starting to rust.
Compare gear with mine, that discussion is tabled,
Even my socks are labeled as fabled.
I look at your stats and have to start laughin’
My resists are higher than old Lord Nagafen.
Think you can slay me, please, stop it.
I have more lives than my man Billy Moppet.
By Hook or by Crook, I quest with the best
Fake AFK’s and ignores for the rest.
If I LFG you best pull me in,
Cause inviting B-Nice is like pressing “I Win.”
I roll up to the raid ten minutes late -
Can’t start without me so you all better wait.
Buffing my crew like I buff my Caddy
Can I get a buff? Who’s your daddy?
My /rands are 1000 so no loot for you,
Unless you’re down with my Brigand mob crew.
Got double your DKP so just settle;
When I’m around the chests are all metal.
Cruise through QH and say Hi to the sweeties,
They check me out cause my boots are Effreeti’s.
I kick things off with a drink at Fool’s Gold,
Drink T6 from my Stein cause it keeps it real cold.
If you see me coming it might be time to run,
Just tell yourself the Journey’s Half of the Fun.
Those Boots Were Made for Walking so keep on going
Back to the Isle of Refuge and then start rowing.
Tear Grifters see me rolling and they start crying
Reach into their packs and pretend to be scrying.
Darathar, Nagalik, and the Maj Dragons
Some of the many I sent home on their wagons
I ruined Varsoon, put Drayek on ice,
There is a reason why they call me B-Nice.

Bonus Humor:

While I happened to think the
Aggro Awards were pretty great, Cosmik over at N3rfed totally blew me away with his MMO Awards video using Molyneux's "game" The Movies. It's probably the best thing to come out of this latest Molyneux farce and I laughed from start to finish.

Have a nice weekend. I'll be discussing my DDO beta impressions next week as well as taking a look at the exciting Test Update 19A.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

lol don't quit yer day job to become a rapper just yet, Aggro.

Some good lines though especially the shoutout to billy moppet and this one:

Compare gear with mine, that discussion is tabled,
Even my socks are labeled as fabled.


11:36 PM  
Anonymous Wargut said...

Better get yourself a mic and record that stuff up haha.

Sony might put you under their label

11:37 PM  
Anonymous Nazeroth said...

haha, nice one Aggro. I thought it was a pretty well rounded rap, a few inconsistencies, but hey, i'm sure you could get fiddy cent or nelly on those lyrics in no time. ;)

3:13 AM  
Blogger Anskiere said...

"I roll up to the raid ten minutes late"

I totally see a wizard with lots of bling rolling up in some pimped out car... :P

9:12 AM  
Blogger Quylein said...

I kept hearing a Cake like tone because it was more like a 2line poem for every ryme. some were quite funny though

10:37 AM  
Blogger Mercurie said...

You know, I think it compares pretty well to 50 Cent and Eminem, but then keep in mind I'm not into rap. LOL. Very funny stuff. (-:

11:23 AM  
Blogger Matt W. said...

sup k-fed. this is you, i know it is!

10:19 AM  

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