Okay, a little something different for the Friday Humor post today. No links, just some Everquest limericks I attempted to write.
If you don't know what a limerick is, here's an example:
There once was a miser named Clarence
Who Simonized both of his parents;
"The initial expense,"
He remarked, "is immense,
But it saves on the wearance and tearance."
-Ogden Nash
They are a bit harder to write than I thought - not much rhymes with Antonica. I'm only really happy with the fourth one but here goes:
There was a young froglok from Guk
Who felt he was down on his luck;
He went for a quick swim
A pretty high elf fell in -
Now their children play nobly in muck!
**************************************
Fred was a good upstanding monk
with a penchant to get rather drunk;
He put ale in his java,
Then fell into the lava
Now his gear is a pile of junk!
**************************************
A halfling lived in Baubleshire
Who never of females did tire;
He propositioned a mage,
She cast blaze in a rage
Now he's half-ling and half-fire!
**************************************
Bill was a thief who did steal
The Overlord's own royal meal;
Lucan did appear
Bill quivered in fear
"/pizza for today's tasty deal!"
**************************************
This is a user participation post: Please feel free to email me (click on /who on the right side of the page) with your best MMORPG limericks and I will edit this post to include them.
Okay, some reader contributions already - nice job:
Ark, from over at Adventuring with Ark (check it out - really good stuff) takes me up on my Antonica challenge and comes through with:
There was a young chap from Antonica;Who played to all hours his harmonica.When asked to be silent,he blew yet more violentAnd so earned an unfortunate moniker.Awesome. BBQKing sends in this funny one about everyone's favorite corporation:There was a young Ogre named Stoney
Whose friends thought him rather a phony;
He started to lie
And put on a tie,
Now he works for the company called Sony!Vince91 gives us this ditty:A wood elf joined our party to make it a quorum,I talked up the sweet thing with a lack of decorum;We cybered awayTill the end of the day-But now the screenshots are all over the forum!Hmm, wonder what the inspiration for that one was?Okay, more limericks incoming. Giliad, from the Splitpaw server, gives us this excellent trio:
There was a sad troll from Big Bend
Whose face looked like his rear end
Forlorn the poor beast
Begged help from a priest
But some things even magic can't mend.
**************************************
There was a young man from Starcrest
Who started to shiver mid-quest
"It's your cold steel plate"
Suggested his mate
"In future try wearing a vest.
**************************************
There was a grim dwarf from Graystone
"I should be taller" he'd moan
He chopped ogres for stew
Washed it down with strong brew
But his width was the only thing grown.**************************************
Nicely done, Giliad. Flashman sends in this timely limerick:There once was a froglok named Jim;
To play one we had to find him.
We searched for months,
Checking every hunch,
Now Sony tells us he's not in!
Don't know if the Flashman name is a tribute to "heroic" Harry Flashman but either way he's got some great stuff on his website,
including a link to a flash version of the old Dark Tower electronic boardgame I had as a kid. Awesome!Virulence from the Mistmoore server reminds us in limerick form that Frogloks are good for more than just playing:While frogloks are slimy and green,And probably stringy and lean,I'll have to admitWhen it comes down to it,They're the tastiest race that I've seen!
So, if you decide to play a Froglok, keep your eyes open around Virulence or you might end up as frog legs soup!Well, we've got a new one and it's funny. This one comes from Dave on Mistmoore:
There once was a tall skinny elfWho took his new wand from the shelf.He didn't intendTo grab the wrong endAnd ended up mezzing himself.Heh, I hate when that happens.Thanks for all the great contributions everyone! I knew EQII players were a creative lot. Fell free to keep sending them in and I'll keep posting them.