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Friday, April 15, 2005

Friday Humor: Everquest Limericks

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Okay, a little something different for the Friday Humor post today. No links, just some Everquest limericks I attempted to write.

If you don't know what a limerick is, here's an example:

There once was a miser named Clarence
Who Simonized both of his parents;
"The initial expense,"
He remarked, "is immense,
But it saves on the wearance and tearance."
-Ogden Nash

They are a bit harder to write than I thought - not much rhymes with Antonica. I'm only really happy with the fourth one but here goes:

There was a young froglok from Guk
Who felt he was down on his luck;
He went for a quick swim
A pretty high elf fell in -
Now their children play nobly in muck!
Fred was a good upstanding monk
with a penchant to get rather drunk;
He put ale in his java,
Then fell into the lava
Now his gear is a pile of junk!
A halfling lived in Baubleshire
Who never of females did tire;
He propositioned a mage,
She cast blaze in a rage
Now he's half-ling and half-fire!
Bill was a thief who did steal
The Overlord's own royal meal;
Lucan did appear
Bill quivered in fear
"/pizza for today's tasty deal!"
This is a user participation post: Please feel free to email me (click on /who on the right side of the page) with your best MMORPG limericks and I will edit this post to include them.

Okay, some reader contributions already - nice job:

Ark, from over at Adventuring with Ark (check it out - really good stuff) takes me up on my Antonica challenge and comes through with:

There was a young chap from Antonica;
Who played to all hours his harmonica.
When asked to be silent,
he blew yet more violent
And so earned an unfortunate moniker.

Awesome. BBQKing sends in this funny one about everyone's favorite corporation:

There was a young Ogre named Stoney
Whose friends thought him rather a phony;
He started to lie
And put on a tie,
Now he works for the company called Sony!

Vince91 gives us this ditty:

A wood elf joined our party to make it a quorum,
I talked up the sweet thing with a lack of decorum;
We cybered away
Till the end of the day-
But now the screenshots are all over the forum!

Hmm, wonder what the inspiration for that one was?

Okay, more limericks incoming. Giliad, from the Splitpaw server, gives us this excellent trio:

There was a sad troll from Big Bend
Whose face looked like his rear end
Forlorn the poor beast
Begged help from a priest
But some things even magic can't mend.
There was a young man from Starcrest
Who started to shiver mid-quest
"It's your cold steel plate"
Suggested his mate
"In future try wearing a vest.
There was a grim dwarf from Graystone
"I should be taller" he'd moan
He chopped ogres for stew
Washed it down with strong brew
But his width was the only thing grown.


Nicely done, Giliad. Flashman sends in this timely limerick:

There once was a froglok named Jim;
To play one we had to find him.
We searched for months,
Checking every hunch,
Now Sony tells us he's not in!

Don't know if the Flashman name is a tribute to "heroic" Harry Flashman but either way he's got some great stuff on his website, including a link to a flash version of the old Dark Tower electronic boardgame I had as a kid. Awesome!

Virulence from the Mistmoore server reminds us in limerick form that Frogloks are good for more than just playing:

While frogloks are slimy and green,
And probably stringy and lean,
I'll have to admit
When it comes down to it,
They're the tastiest race that I've seen!

So, if you decide to play a Froglok, keep your eyes open around Virulence or you might end up as frog legs soup!

Well, we've got a new one and it's funny. This one comes from Dave on Mistmoore:

There once was a tall skinny elf
Who took his new wand from the shelf.
He didn't intend
To grab the wrong end
And ended up mezzing himself.

Heh, I hate when that happens.

Thanks for all the great contributions everyone! I knew EQII players were a creative lot. Fell free to keep sending them in and I'll keep posting them.


Blogger Ark said...

There was a young chap from Antonica;
Who played to all hours his harmonica.
When asked to be silent,
he blew yet more violent
And so earned an unfortunate moniker


11:03 AM  
Anonymous flashman said...

There once was a froglock named Jim;
To play one we had to find him.
We searched for months,
checking every hunch,
Now Sony tells us he's not in!

4:48 AM  
Anonymous Fjord said...

There was a young barbarian called Fjord
Who used to run from the Darkpaw Fanglord
But time has now past
Fjord has learned fast
And the Fanglord has felt the might of his sword
(well Giant Pick axe actually, but that doesn't rhyme)

7:59 PM  
Anonymous scott said...

There once was an elf
who thought he was himself
when he called home
he found he was a gnome
and had won the lotto with wealth.

3:21 PM  
Anonymous scott said...

There once was a house on Boot Hill
buried there are people who kill
some are well known
down they were mown
and now they are nil.

3:28 PM  
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